


Happy b-day pep!

by MachiMaquiaveli



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: ? - Freeform, Canon?, Crack Fic, Funny, Male Harem, Other, What Canon?, extravagant is more accurate, pepper's birthday, tony bright ideas, tony is a good boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:34:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26011234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MachiMaquiaveli/pseuds/MachiMaquiaveli
Summary: Pepper's birthday is coming and Tony wants to do something special for her. Like a male harem. Because he is Tony Stark and flowers are too mainstream.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Kudos: 5





	Happy b-day pep!

**Author's Note:**

> My life is a constant gloom bc of college so I made something to laugh. The idea came to me after reading some HP crack fics. I love the non-sense of those, maybe I should start writing HP again to change a little the subject. 
> 
> Thank you very much to [ eyeless_soul ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyeless_soul/pseuds/eyeless_soul) for beta reading me!

Tony and Bruce sat on the lab head-to-head; deeply focused on their work when Tony broke their comfortable silence.

“Any plans for the weekend?” He asked.

“Not much, work and a book.” The other scientist answered with a shrug.

“Would you like to help with Pepper's birthday party?”

“Sure, what did you have in mind?”

“A male harem.” Tony answered with a wide grin.

Bruce owlishly blinked several times trying to decide if he had heard right or not.

“Think about it,” Tony kept talking “five guys ready to please you in every way you can think of.”

“Yeah, so romantic, Pepper is going to love it.”

“If you were trying to sound sarcastic you failed, I already put you on the “guest” list.”

And with that Tony left before Bruce could complain more.

***

“Steve, Bucky, what are my two favorite super soldiers doing in this wonderful morning?” Tony said with the sweetest tone he could muster up.

“What do you want Stark?” Was Bucky cold answer already smelling one of his shenanigans. Steve didn’t even bother since his boyfriend was doing it for him.

“Me? Nothing”.

“Nothing but?”

“Well, maybe theeeere is a teeny tiny thing you can help me with.”

“Spit it.”

“Remember Pepper? That amazing, cute, sexy woman that has saved your butts several times from PR, press interviews, crazy fans, etc. etc. etc?”

Both super soldiers moved a little uncomfortable; he was right, Pepper was an embarrassment savior any day of the year. Tony grinned, he knew exactly what was going on their minds and he pushed.

“This weekend is her birthday and I’m sure you would like to help, right?”

“Of course,” jumped Steve before Bucky could smell the trap. “What do you want us to bring?” 

“Nothing; just yourself, your dicks and no clothes.”

“Wha—?”

“Thank you, you two are a dear, bye.”

And he rushed out.

***

“Birdbrain?” Tony screamed to the vents.

“What?” The vents answered.

“Any plans for the weekend?”

“Yes, to hide from Phil and the stupid paperwork.”

“Want to hide in my penthouse? He would never think to look for there.”

“Where is the catch?”

“No catch, although if you see some action and want to participate I will be more than happy to indulge.”

A few moments of silence.

“Deal.”

“Yes!” Tony celebrated “See you on the weekend.”

***

As usual, Thor was smashing stuff in the gym. Thank the norns Tony could teach Thor how to fight with the hologram programs. The god smashed faster than any factory could produce more robots. Even the cheapest ones. 

“Ah! Man of Iron, good to see you!” Thor boomed as he entered the gym. “Are you here to join me on the training field? These strange ghosts of yours are really worthy opponents.”

“Maybe later Pointbreak, I wanted to tell you something about Pepper first.”

Thor immediately stopped.

“Do not worry my friend, if anybody dares to try and hurt the Lady Pepper I swear to do everything in my power to protect her. I owe her as much to show my gratitude.” He boomed again.

“Pepper is okay, it's not anything like that,” Tony reassured him. “It's just that we are celebrating her birthday and I want to do a special celebration, with the guys and her only. If you get what I mean.”  
Tony deliberately winked at him and Thor stood there for a moment until he understood and boomed again.

“Wonderful! I would love to help and please the lady Pepper like with my love just as I do my lady Jane!” 

Tony was happily surprised Thor had got it so fast but again, Thor was not stupid, only their culture differences made him confused sometimes. But in this case their culture differences were playing in favor of Tony since Asgardians were not so shy about certain topics.

“Great! See you there.”

***

“I’m so happy to be your friend.” Rhodney spoke to Tony through their coms on their armors.

“Me too platypus; but why specifically?”

“You left me out of whatever shit you are scheming right now.”

“I don’t know what are you talking about.” Said Tony feigning innocence.

“Pepper's birthday is coming and you always make the craziest plans on that day. I’m so happy you left me out of this one.”

Tony practically could see the face of relief his friend was doing.

“You are welcome buddy.”

***

It was Saturday and Pepper was running late. Tony had promised her something very special for the evening but of course; being CEO of Stark Industries meant she couldn’t make it for her own birthday party. She only hoped the food wasn’t cold already. She was so absorbed on her thoughts she screamed when all the lights turned suddenly on.

“SURPRISE!” 

Pepper froze. On hers and Tony’s bed where sitting all the male Avengers...naked. For several seconds she just stood there so Tony intervened.

“Surprise,” he repeated getting close to her. “I wanted to do something no other guy could do for you, so I kidnapped all the Avengers to be your slaves for tonight. Right guys?”

There were different levels of cheerfulness but all agreed with Tony. Pepper was smiling so Tony continued.

“Tonight you are the queen; we will do anything you ask for.”

“Anything?” Pepper asked, a bright smile on her face.

“Anything, you only have to ask. We are here to please you.”

Pepper giggled in excitement and kissed Tony.

“Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh,” She could barely contain her emotions. “I’ve been dreaming of this for so long!”

Tony was surprised by her honesty but at the same time happy he knew her so well.

“So, what do you want to do my queen?” He asked seductively in her ear. She froze again.

“Give me a second!” She stopped him, “There is something I need first, it will be very fast; I promise.”

Pepper took off her heels to run faster while all the guys looked at each other in confusion. A few moments later Pepper was back with several boxes.

“Pep?” Tony was starting to worry. Pepper took out several folders from the first box.

“You have paperwork to do. You have to write a paper for college. You have to prepare a speech. You need to read this contract and sign it. And you have unanswered fan mail. Actually all of you have, so you better get to work. I want all of this finished before morning.” She commanded handing the folders to the men on the bed.

Tony was as dumbfounded as the rest of the Avengers.

“Pepper—“ he started but he was cut.

“You said you would do anything to please me.” She reminded him.

“Ye—yes, but…”

“No buts, get to work, now. C’mon everybody, chop, chop.”

Slowly the Avengers started to move.

“No, not you Thor, you come here and massage my feet.” She ordered snapping her fingers. 

“Ah, yes, my lady Jane and the Lady Darcy often ask me to please them with those too.”

Ignoring the comment she added, “JARVIS, call the girls and ask them if they are in the mood for Netflix and chill.”

“Netflix and chill?” Complained Tony. “And I have to work?”

Pepper kissed her boyfriend.

“Thank you, Tony, this is my best birthday ever.”

Tony smirked and kissed her back.

“Best birthday ever? Ok, I can live with that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked the little twist in the end ;) Remember, I live for kudos and comments. Have a nice day :^*


End file.
